Friday, July 23, 2010
My life has changed so much in just a couple days and I know I will want to remember this and how it all happened.
Thursday night, July 15, 9 p.m. I felt that all too familar tightening of my stomach. I instinctly checked my watch so I could start timing them. It was nothing new but I could always hope. They were about 5 mins apart. Again, nothing new. I had been having contractions 3-5 mins apart off and on for a week now. But they did feel different, the other ones were uncomfortable but these ones just felt more. Not super painful yet but more. I didn't want to go back (yes, back) to the hospital only to be told that no, I'm not in labour, so I just watched countless hours of television while Mike slept blissfully in the bedroom. Well not so blissfully since I woke him up every couple of hours to complain that they were now 3 mins apart and starting to hurt and how the heck do I know whether or not this it. Finally we decided that I might as well go in, that was Friday morning around 9 a.m. Got to the hospital and was informed that I am probably in labour but not far enough along to stay. So we went home and watched A LOT of Gilmore Girls while I waited. They were getting really really painful (or what I thought was painful) so that evening we went back again only to be told the same thing, although this time the doctor told me that she expects me to be back in just a couple hours. I think there was a part of me that thought that the contractions would just stop because I was early and EVERYONE told me that first time mom's never have their babies early. However at abour 4:30 a.m. i started throwing up from the pain and then I went screaming into the bedroom telling Mike that I had to go to the hospital. We didn't even take time to grab anything other than my cell phone (yes I might have texted while I was in labour) and jumped in the car. We had to stop once for me to throw up (what is it about pregnancy that makes me throw up on the side of the highway?) We got to the hospital and got the happy news that this was it! I was finally in labour. Baby was coming and 2 days early! I told myself that I didn't want to be one of those people who immediately asked for pain medication, although I certainly wasn't opposed to the idea of an epidural but I hadn't slept in 2 days and my doctor suggested that if I was planning on getting one, I might as well get it now so I can possibly sleep or at least relax for a couple minutes. I certainly didn't object to that idea and by the time the anestheologist came, he was my FAVORITE person. Once the medication kicked in, Mike went home to get breakfast and grab all the stuff we left at home. Once it wasn't the wee hours of the morning, I called my parents, Mike's parents and texted my sister that I was finally in labour! The time went surprisingly fast at this point. I don't really remember a lot of it. I kinda dozed a bit and ate a lot of ice chips. At around 11:45 a.m. they decided they were going to break my water. That was the WEIRDEST feeling but was also accompanied by the scariest moment in my life. They broke my water and Z hadn't dropped yet so when the water broke, he dropped fast. His little heart couldn't handle it and his heart rate crashed. All I heard was these alarms and all of a sudden all these doctors rushed into the room. They started prepping me for a C-section and trying desperately to get his heart rate. I was terrified, all I remember is asking over and over again if my baby was okay. They had this mask on my face and Mike was just holding my hand and then the doctor looked up and smiled and said that the baby was just fine and the heart rate was back to where they wanted it! God is good! Then the doctor left saying it was time to push and he'll check in periodically. I remember asking the nurses how long this stage would take and she was like oh well it could take a couple hours. I was so exhausted by this point and even with an epidural, I was so uncomfortable. But little Z was anxious to come apparently. The nurses had to almost immediately call the doctor back and at 12:17 p.m. on Saturday July 17 my little miracle was born. He weighed a healthy 7 lbs 8 oz and was 20.3 inches long. Unfortunately his heart rate was still a little slow so he was immediately taken to the warming tray and given a shot of adrenaline because his APGAR score was 2 out of 10! Mike went to check on him and took some pictures so I could see him. They brought him to me so I could hold him for a couple minutes before they took him to the NICU. Unfortunately my placenta was adhered so I had to sit there for several hours while they did a manual removal. I couldn't see my baby for 3 hours! It was so weird. My stomach was empty, I couldn't feel him anymore but he wasn't in my arms. I'm not sure if I really believed them that he was okay. Mike went back and forth checking on him for me. But FINALLY I got to hold him and he was perfect. So little and quiet. Unfortunately he had to stay in the NICU but they wheeled me there every couple of hours so I could nurse him. They also had to give him formula. That was really hard on me, I think I had these thoughts that he would be exclusively breastfed and wouldn't need any formula but I wanted what was best for Z and I knew that he needed more nutrients than my milk could offer him. Thankfully within a couple days, he didn't need formula and was perfectly content to just nurse. My parents came to visit him in the NICU and we could all hold him there. Finally at 1:00 a.m. Z was released from the NICU and brought to my room. I was so tired but so happy to finally have my baby. He just slept beside me in my bed, it was so perfect. Unfortunately we had to wake him every 2 hours to nurse him, give him formula and do a heel prick to check his blood sugar levels but still, I had my baby. Nothing could take that feeling away from me.
Monday, July 19, 2010
I know I'll want to remember this time in my life so I want to start writing it down and I find blogging a lot easier than journal writing. :)
I came home from the hospital yesterday with a little miracle in my arms. I'll write out my birth story another day but today I just want to remember how happy I am. He's perfect, our little miracle.
God has blessed hubby and I so much. Planned or unplanned, a child is such a gift. I want to remember that Z is not ours, he is simply lent to us. It is our job to raise and nurture him and then release him so that he can follow God. I am humbled that I have been entrusted with a child. I am humbled that God will use us to raise one of His children. I pray that we will always seek Christ in our lives and in Z's life. That Z will see Christ modeled in his parents life and that he will grow up to love and follow Christ.
I know that there will be hard times and happy times. Joyful times and sad times. But through it all, I will love this baby.
I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be