Monday, December 20, 2010

trying to be positive

I hate that i always feel like writing when Z is having a bad day. He's not a bad baby. Really he's not. He smiles a lot and giggles and takes naps like a little pro. He almost always simply closes his eyes and falls asleep when I put him in his crib. All I have to do is read him his story, give him his soother and he simply cuddles up to his little lovey and falls asleep. It's wonderful. But I don't talk about those things. I talk about the days when he cries all freaking day long and when he wakes up 3 times in the night. But is that what I want to remember? What about the time when hubby came home and Z looks up and sees his Daddy and gets the biggest grin on his face? Or the time when we went to California and he was this perfect little angel on the plane? He seriously just sat in my lap and slept for 2 1/2 out of the 3 hours and when he was awake, he was just happily taking his bottle and then playing with his toys. Or the first time he laughed, like really full belly laughed? He basically couldn't stop laughing, it was priceless. Yet thats not what I write about. But thats what I want to remember. The happy times, yes i know life isn't just about the happy times and there will be sad times too. But soon Z will be this little boy with new memories and adventures and I want to remember him being this little happy beautiful baby. The one who falls asleep in my arms when I feed him (and sometimes I do too!) and who smiles with this big giant toothless mouth and giggles with his whole body. I know that sometimes I will need to writing when I'm going insane and I just need to vent but I also want to remember to write about the good times, the happy times. Because there are so many.

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