Monday, November 14, 2011

No time to run...

I was reading a blog entry today: by this woman who I really respect. She has 2 little kids (I think one is a little over two and the other is 6 months) and she is a SAHM who loves Jesus and has a gift for honest writing and just being open with the world about her struggles. She lives in the states but not in one of those warm climate states and she just ran a 1/2 marathon this weekend. And I can think is HOW? How did this woman find time to train for a 1/2 marathon? How did she get herself out several times a week for run for a couple hours? I'm amazing, completely jealous and just missing running. I love to run. I'm pretty slow and I start forgetting about my love for running around Mile 3 but thats okay. But I haven't ran in a week and that was my first time running in several weeks. It's freaking cold outside and I don't have a treadmill (although I don't think this mom does either from her posts) and I don't have time. I get home from work at around 5:00 p.m. (and it's basically cold and dark at that time), make dinner, get Z cleaned up and in bed and it's 7:30. The last thing I feel like doing is going outside and running. Especially now because it's pitch black outside. But even when it was beautiful out, I never did. And now that Winter is here - what am I going to do? Last year Z was little and able to sleep in the stroller but this year? No way. My kid HATES the stroller. He will last about 10 minutes, maybe 15 if we give him a snack. But he wants to move, he wants to be running or pushing the stroller not having to sit still. It's so frustrating. I just want to be able to get out and I don't feel like I can. But maybe thats on me. How often did I do it when I was able to? Yes, when Z was little we ran a lot. We did a 5K last Mothers Day but have barely ran since then. I was home until August and I could have at least gone out when Mike came home but I didn't...
I just feel inactive, unhealthy and lethargic. And I truly don't know what to do. I guess I have these video exercises and I could go out on the weekends but I don't. So maybe I need to stop complaining and just do it?
I miss my old life, when I could get home from work and go for a run and not worry about diapers and strollers and having dinner at a specific time. But then I think about it and I know I would never change it for anything. I would NEVER not want to have Z just for a little extra freedom. My old life was fine when I didn't know better but it's nothing compared to my new life.
Wow I feel like I went on a tanget with this entry. It started off with my amazement that Allison at found time to run a marathon to me missing my old life... but I guess thats why I write. So I can figure out what I'm feeling :)

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