Thursday, September 6, 2012

Grieving the loss of an only child

This is my last couple of  days/weeks with Z being my only child. With him being my life and getting 100% of my attention. Of him crying and me immediately being able to get him. Of my lap always being open for him. I'm so excited to add another child into our home. I think siblings are such a blessing, I have three of them and wouldn't trade them for anything but I also am grieving the loss of my only child. I'm so excited to have another baby, to get to snuggle the cute little newborn, to watch excitedly for first smiles and roll-overs and giggles. But I'm also sad that it does mean that Z will struggle with splitting my time, he'll struggle with jealousy and not understanding why mommy can't just come running when he calls anymore. I hate the idea of my precious baby struggling but I also know I can't avoid it. I know in the long run, he'll love his baby brother or sister and I know he'll be thankful hubby and I gave him the gift of a siblings but it's hard. I pray that God gives me the patience and energy to still devote my time to him as well, I pray that God gives him the patience (as much patience as a two year old can have) to wait while I deal with his sibling and I really pray that Z will love and cherish his little brother/sister. I look forward to seeing him in the role of a big brother. I think he'll love helping me out, he just loves to bring me things or to put things away for me. I think he'll be really curious by this new addition, he already is so fascinated by babies when we see them.
I'm so thankful that hubby can take 6 weeks off when baby comes (which will hopefully be VERY soon!!!), I'm hoping that will help Z with the transition. The first six weeks tends to be a time when baby is very attached to the mom and dad can't do as much so I'm hoping we can use that time to allow Z to have some very important Daddy-time.

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